Oh Dear God, Don’t Sit On the Pineapple!!

You are about to be the first to find out.

I’m dumping Bob.

He’s just not hot anymore.

I admit that I have been rough on him lately – using him around the clock, over and over. I suppose I had to expect him to just get tired and stop responding the way I need him to. He was there to listen to me, to agree with me and even comfort me. He made each day seem clear – vivid…giving me the energy I needed to make it through most days…

“Mommy, you should get one of those one-cup-at-a-time coffeemakers,” Daughter #4 – the six year old, decided when I griped about the old one (Bob).

“Are you insane?” Daughter #2, scoffed at her sister, “have you ever watched Mommy drink coffee?”

“She could have a fresh cup everytime.”

“She drinks bowlfuls – she would have to make two of those little things to equal one cup. She would go insane waiting for each cup.” Ahhh….my children know me so well.

I was cutting the top off a pineapple and looking around for a bowl (NOT one of my coffee cups) to fill with water and stick it in so we could grow it. Daughter #1, my thirteen year old brought over a bowl and left it out of my way on a kitchen chair. I shoved six toothpicks into the firm flesh of the fruit and carefully set it into the bowl.

As I cut up the juicy yellow flesh into chunks, the girls crowded me, devouring it like a school of piranha – “Mmmm….tastes like summer,” my three year old jumped up and down clapping her hands and disappeared.

She reappeared in a second dressed in her sister’s bathing suit (backwards and inside out) and a pair of fairy wings. She danced and twirled, blond curls bouncing happily everywhere.

I should have seen it coming. I should have done something to prevent it – but, in any event, it happened. She ricocheted off the refrigerator and landed directly on top of the pineapple cutting with all her weight, just as I heard my voice raise above the loud deafening chatter – “OH DEAR GOD, DON’T SIT ON THE PINEAPPLE!!”

So, on my agenda today – mopping the ocean of water off my floor, getting a sexy new coffeemaker and soothing a smarting tushy…

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!