I found this as I was looking for something entirely different online…I’m not sure who to thank for it – but it sure made me laugh outloud and I wanted to share!
“A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa . ‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?’
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, ‘Wedding Cake.’”
YEEHAW!!!! It’s one of THOSE weeks Gotta keep reminding myself that this too shall pass. Is yours going ok?
Tonight, one of my FAVORITE businesses, CordaRoy Bean Bag Beds, will be featured on the show “Shark Tank”. You’ll recognize him as the maker of my “funnest” pieces of furniture from my posts. Don’t miss this episode! Even better, grab yourself one of his incredible chairs! GOOD LUCK, BYRON (and I still have your package I need to get out to you)!!!
Categories: accomplishments, children, family, journal, kids, life, mom, mommy, mother, parenting, stay at home mom
Sometimes too much information, to the wrong person, at the wrong time – can be a bit, well, comical – depending on how much ibuprofen you have on hand.
My youngest will be turning 4 soon. Of course in her mind she’s 14, and on an intellectual level with my oldest. So when Daughter #2, the 12 year old, asked how gemstones were measured (apparently she was momentarily bored with her new iPod), the little one’s interest was piqued and she scooted off the burgundy velvet sofa and sat down crossed-leg on her new pink bean bag chair next to us.
And I was slightly hesitant to move down south because of THEIR storms!
The girls and I are hunkering down, waiting for “Frankenstorm” to shake things up a bit around here. Mostly
they we are eyeballing all the junk food and arts and crafts supplies I bought to make things a little fun, since there most likely won’t be any trick-or-treating here in upstate New York this Halloween.
The wind has been gusting lightly for about the last hour or so – shaking the gorgeous leaves off the trees as if we were in a giant snowglobe and gently stirring some forgotten seashells we found at the Cape last month in the backyard.
Rubies, Sapphires and Garnets, oh my…
Holy. Moley. Canoli.
Another fantastic summer has slipped through my fingers – no matter how hard I tried to hold onto it. Delicious memories sprinkled heavily with fabulous foods and drinks and most of all, laughter. LOTS of laughter.
Now, as the hot sunshine begins it’s sexy romance with the harbingers of winter, my house is filled with the heady scent of pumpkin spice potpourri, and Chapter 3 (titled – Fall), of 2012 is comfortably settling in. Spritzes of autumnal colors are appearing in patches against the lush green background, and crispness has certainly settled into these September nights. Our featherbeds and comforters are piled high on our beds, which the girls can’t stop bouncing on.
In the shadowy corners of our rooms, ghosts are sneaking in more frequent visits – eerily beckoning visitors to visit “Mommy’s Bloody Mary”.
I’ve been dragging my feet lately regarding our move to either the Cape or Myrtle Beach. And the reason is the weather.
Putting aside the slight drought, it’s been gorgeous just about every single day. Closing your eyes and sipping a cool drink is a lot easier than poring over thousands of houses. Dreaming of running in slow motion on the beach and falling, giggling, in the sand, in the arms of that really good looking guy who jogs around the Myrtle Beach boardwalk in the mornings dressed in blue and white, is a lot more relaxing than thinking about packing and moving trucks and unpacking.
And, I’m not quite done saying my good-byes yet. I haven’t even started. The more I close my eyes as I float in my pool…
Categories: children, family, Humor, kids, life, mom, mommy, Myrtle Beach, parenting, personal, Uncategorized
HOW MUCH for an ear of corn???
My father’s darkroom.
Back when he was alive, I would spend countless hours sitting down there with him. The soft red couch he had is still there and feels familiar to my skin as I tuck my legs under myself and close my eyes. This room is where I go to do serious thinking – it’s quiet and calming and all mindblocks vanish as soon as I close the heavy, carved mahogany door behind me.
The air is cool in an unusual way for late June in upstate New York, and a soft breeze moves around the smell of the developing chemicals – stored in neat rows behind a dark curtain to keep them safe from light – and it heightens my memories even more.
Categories: children, funny, Humor, journal, life, mom, mommy, parenting, Uncategorized
Tags: corn, family, kids, upstate new york
I started doing it again.
I started doing it on vacation. I really didn’t think I would start doing it so soon, but apparently, I am weak… and it felt so good. That surge of satisfaction knowing I was going to make someone very, very happy ribboned itself around my body and hugged me with the sensation one gets when one has a juicy secret.
Categories: children, family, Humor, kids, mom, parenting, Uncategorized, vacation
Tags: art, gerbils, parent, schoolwork, steven tyler, vacation