Why I Sleep With Herks…

I did something the nuns who taught me would definitely NOT approve of me doing.

OK, to be honest, there’s quite a few things the nuns would not approve of, however, I am referring to one thing in particular at the moment.

When I was young, I wanted to be a nun. I think the part that interested me was that dressed in a habit, I could look like a bride every day! (Clearly, the concepts of chastity and poverty hadn’t entered my mind yet.) I was also intrigued by paranormal and psychic things – things the nuns didn’t particularly embrace – actually frowned upon quite a lot.

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Butt-Dancing, Pole-Dancing, Disco Dancing – It’s All Good

Zbyszek turned into a lovely, snow-covered tree.

That’s what my friends told me that New Year’s Eve night many, many moons ago in Poland. He had been madly in love with my friend Grazyna – who, it turned out, was madly in love with someone else. And apparently, she told him so that night.

In his despair – and after a few many shots of Zytnia wodka – he ran out of the house, sans coat, and into the woods behind the house we were celebrating in.

“O Matko!” wailed Grazyna as she noticed the front door left wide open, blowing snow was beginning to collect like powdered sugar in the hallway, and a gasp followed by whispers, rippled through the room.

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If You’re Seeing This Post, You’re Gonna Have an Incredible Week!…”Happy Monday!”

My Happy Ending in Herkimer, NY (wink, wink)

For approximately the last six months, I have tried to live and breathe just about every moment of my spare time studying and working with gemstones – that’s pretty much the reason for the sad crickets on this, my beloved blog. My hands-down favorite art medium to work with is words, and I have been silent MUCH too long.

During this time, however, I have collected delicious morsels of my quirky life and the time has finally arrived for me to again indulge myself in this sweet heaven of sharing my written art with you.

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WATCH SHARK TANK TONIGHT!!

Tonight, one of my FAVORITE businesses, CordaRoy Bean Bag Beds, will be featured on the show “Shark Tank”. You’ll recognize him as the maker of my “funnest” pieces of furniture from my posts. Don’t miss this episode! Even better, grab yourself one of his incredible chairs! GOOD LUCK, BYRON (and I still have your package I need to get out to you)!!!

Pssst!! Check This Out….

The girls are all still sleeping and I am putting the final touches on my first post of 2013 as well launching my newest site…Victoria’s Tajemnica!

Diamonds, Champagne and the Most Awesome Hot Tub Experience I Have Ever Had…

I love to bang.

On dolomite.

The rhythmic pounding on rock with rock hammers and chisels, in hopes of having water-clear, double terminated Herkimer Diamonds come spilling out onto the grey dust gives me just an incredible rush. Actually, they more like come flying out – looking perfectly faceted. Seeing the glittery rainbow sparkle peek out from the mazes of stone crevices makes every blow worthwhile. After a few hours, dust covers one from head to foot, and muscles scream for mercy, but clear zip-lock bags filled with gemstones keep us going until the very second the mine closes for the day.

Last weekend, after a long day of mining, I dragged my weary body – dusty and sore – to the Bellinger Rose Bed and Breakfast in Herkimer, NY. I did not have a particularly successful day finding diamonds, and there was nothing more I wanted than to settle into my room.

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Why is There Alpaca Fur on the Floor in my Children’s Room?

I am a LOVER of surprises…

What I am NOT a lover of, is coming home and discovering a white floor covering in my 6 and 8 year old daughters bedroom. Especially when this white floor covering is actually an eight foot by five foot, white alpaca fur rug. Did I mention it’s white?

“Daddy got it for us,” my six year reported excitedly as she sprawled out on it, petting it, nuzzling the long fur. “He said he saw it and just knew we had to have it!”

Cranberry juice. Orange juice. Grape juice. Chocolate. Gum. Paint. Clay. Glue. Throw-up…

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My Steamy Mother’s Day Shower and Massage…

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” ~Elizabeth Stone

First of All…HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!! Warm hugs and kisses to all you ladies whose hearts live outside your bodies…

Second of all, this post will be a shorter than others, only because, not only did I get my wish for a LONG, uninterrupted HOT shower (thank you girls for playing nicely during it)…I am about to get a massage. And although I have never tried it, I suspect writing while getting one would be rather tough…

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All I Want for Mother’s Day is to be Naked in Peace.

I am NOT very pleased with the person who taught my youngest to jimmy locked doors.

I am particularly perturbed at that person when I’m in the shower and I never hear the door open – just the whoosh of my pink-on-pink shower curtain before the icy breeze grabs at my exposed body parts (for some reason, I can never remember to turn on the heating lamps).

“Whatcha doin’, Mommy? Can you make me some more chocolate milk?” My three year old’s big blue eyes blink as if she thinks I really am doing nothing.

“I will do it as soon as I get out of the shower, OK Fluffy-Butt?”

She shuffles out, and, as always, leaves the door ajar.

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