Why I Sleep With Herks…

I did something the nuns who taught me would definitely NOT approve of me doing.

OK, to be honest, there’s quite a few things the nuns would not approve of, however, I am referring to one thing in particular at the moment.

When I was young, I wanted to be a nun. I think the part that interested me was that dressed in a habit, I could look like a bride every day! (Clearly, the concepts of chastity and poverty hadn’t entered my mind yet.) I was also intrigued by paranormal and psychic things – things the nuns didn’t particularly embrace – actually frowned upon quite a lot.

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Men, Their Meat, and Pleasing Women

I found this prowling around the internet and HAD to share. I’m not sure who to credit for it, but it’s hysterical and TRUE! HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!!!

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it’s the only type of cooking a ‘real’ man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine…

(1) The woman buys the food.

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Psst? Got a Sec?

Saint Padre Pio, please help my dear friend today.

Please say a quick prayer that Saint Padre Pio look after a very, very dear friend of mine today who desperately needs his help and guidance dealing with an abusive domestic issue. She needs a miracle. She needs him to please give her a sign that she is doing the right thing.

(Actually, it wouldn’t hurt to ask Pope John Paul II and Mother Teresa – and anyone else up there who isn’t too busy – for help either).

I Just Had to Share This – HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!!!!!

I found this as I was looking for something entirely different online…I’m not sure who to thank for it – but it sure made me laugh outloud and I wanted to share!

 

“A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa . ‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?’

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, ‘Wedding Cake.’”

Help Needed – Pairing Wines With Whines

YEEHAW!!!! It’s one of THOSE weeks Gotta keep reminding myself that this too shall pass. Is yours going ok?

Butt-Dancing, Pole-Dancing, Disco Dancing – It’s All Good

Zbyszek turned into a lovely, snow-covered tree.

That’s what my friends told me that New Year’s Eve night many, many moons ago in Poland. He had been madly in love with my friend Grazyna – who, it turned out, was madly in love with someone else. And apparently, she told him so that night.

In his despair – and after a few many shots of Zytnia wodka – he ran out of the house, sans coat, and into the woods behind the house we were celebrating in.

“O Matko!” wailed Grazyna as she noticed the front door left wide open, blowing snow was beginning to collect like powdered sugar in the hallway, and a gasp followed by whispers, rippled through the room.

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If You’re Seeing This Post, You’re Gonna Have an Incredible Week!…”Happy Monday!”

My Happy Ending in Herkimer, NY (wink, wink)

For approximately the last six months, I have tried to live and breathe just about every moment of my spare time studying and working with gemstones – that’s pretty much the reason for the sad crickets on this, my beloved blog. My hands-down favorite art medium to work with is words, and I have been silent MUCH too long.

During this time, however, I have collected delicious morsels of my quirky life and the time has finally arrived for me to again indulge myself in this sweet heaven of sharing my written art with you.

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WATCH SHARK TANK TONIGHT!!

Tonight, one of my FAVORITE businesses, CordaRoy Bean Bag Beds, will be featured on the show “Shark Tank”. You’ll recognize him as the maker of my “funnest” pieces of furniture from my posts. Don’t miss this episode! Even better, grab yourself one of his incredible chairs! GOOD LUCK, BYRON (and I still have your package I need to get out to you)!!!

“Mommy, You’re 60 Pounds and 8 Minutes!”

Sometimes too much information, to the wrong person, at the wrong time – can be a bit, well, comical – depending on how much ibuprofen you have on hand.

My youngest will be turning 4 soon. Of course in her mind she’s 14, and on an intellectual level with my oldest. So when Daughter #2, the 12 year old, asked how gemstones were measured (apparently she was momentarily bored with her new iPod), the little one’s interest was piqued and she scooted off the burgundy velvet sofa and sat down crossed-leg on her new pink bean bag chair next to us.

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